I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize