So drunk its hurt
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize