I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize