Only a mothe r could love this liver
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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