he wants to bone in the snuggie
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
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You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
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The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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