My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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