Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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