i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize