We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
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i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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