hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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