i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Someone came in the potted fern
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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