Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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