so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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