Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize