Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize