At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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