wrigley field is MILF paradise
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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