420 ftw
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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