my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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