My nipple is on Facebook.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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