I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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