why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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