What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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