belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize