My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
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