Well douche your snatch and let's go!
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize