my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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