Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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