the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize