fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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