I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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