Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
that may or may not have been my penis.
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