The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
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My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
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Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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