if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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