Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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