I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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