i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize