yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize