Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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