People in love make me want to vomit
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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