Banned from zoo.
Again?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Text me some of your sweat
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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