My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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