Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize