You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize