wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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