So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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