my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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