When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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