At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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