Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize